Yesterday in dance class, ballet, we began with plies, and then went to stretching on the barre. I'm sure most are familiar with the sight of a dancer, leg resting on the barre, stretching.
That's what we were supposed to do.
I was feeling pretty good about myself during the plies. I followed along, didnt lose my place or anything! But because we, as the prof continuously said, "have Forty-five freakin' people in this class" we had to do our stretching in three groups. I was in group three.
We only have two barres that are regulation height. Otherwise, the rest of us had to use the railing. I was rather grateful I was positioned at the railing. First we had to wrap our foot around our ankle, slide it up into passe where our toes were pointed and touching the side of our knees. Then we had to lift the knee above the barre (in my case lower railing) and then lightly place the heel on the barre, keeping toes pointed. I would love to say I was so graceful as I placed my
ankle on the barre, but when the prof wasnt looking, I actually put my hand under my thigh, lifted my leg and plopped it down on the railing. Then we did all sorts of leaning forward, lean to the side, up in Relevé (which is the position where you stand on your tippy toes), down again, plie (bend the knee of the supporting leg).After all that, came the killer part, we had to lift our leg off the barre and hold it in the air. Yeah, right. I barely got my leg ON the barre, with some major assistance. Like I was gonna just LIFT it off after pulling my groin in weird and torturous ways without assistance again. In fact, I wasnt sure I was going to be able to take my foot off the barre even WITH lifting my leg with my hand. For a second I panicked. But since I'm sitting here blogging, it can be assumed that I somehow managed to ungracefully get out of that position.
I limped back to my seat as group one began the same series with their other leg. Crap! I thought, My left leg is worse than my right! Sigh.
Once we were all stretched out and ready to rock and roll, we learned Glissade Assemblé which our prof assured us, "This is so easy once it's broken down, it's rediculous." I'll define Glissade Assemblé according to my handy-dandy glossary of ballet terms. Glissade: a traveling step executed by gliding the working foot from the fifth position in the required direction, the other foot closing to it. Assemblé: rising off floor, on one leg and landing on two (straightening both legs in air) and returning to fifth position.
The key word and phrase here are "easy" and "rising off floor, ON ONE LEG and landing on two (straightening both legs in air) and returning to fifth position." Yes, the word "easy" definitely would fit that phrase. The gliding was definitely easy. Powering oneself upward off of one leg, pointing the toes, bringing the foot in the back to the front, all in one fell swoop...very, to use my prof's favorite word, FREAKING DIFFICULT! She had one part absolutely correct: "It's rediculous."
Nervous giggles resonated throughout the gym along with whispers of "yeah right, uh-huh, man I so cannot do this!" She demonstrated the Assemblé four more times for us, then had us repeat that part about five to eight more times, the whole time yelping "Com'mon Girls! Off the FLOOR! OFF THE FLOOR! I know you can dooooo it!" By this point we were all laughing at our ineptness, and I was grateful it wasn't just me this time. Then we did a series of jumps in the air with two feet. "See?!?" She hollared for all to hear. "You can get off the floor, now do that on ONE leg!" Well, it's safe to assume, not too many of us got it before we were dismissed.
But despite the poorly executed Assemblé, she had us put the two parts together. So at the barre we did what felt like a million Glissade Assemblés and floundered all over the place. It was tough to do a decent glide when you're crowded at the barre. We tripped over each other constantly. And someone, I'm not naming names, nearly fell during the Assemblé. Ankle socks and a slippery gym floor are not a good combination. Not that I'm making excuses or anything...
I'm just so bummed that my ballet career has just now gone down the toilet, all due to my inability to Glissade Assemblé. And I had so hoped to wear a tu-tu.
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