Chapter Nineteen

I've entered aerobics hell. And I thought Modern dance was bad. Sigh.

We continued over the last few classes to do our chest pushing, groin thrusting, head turning, shoulder rolling warm-up routine, followed by our "complex isolations" warm-up a.k.a. low impact areobics. Ok, I understand it's not really aerobics, but it certainly feels like it. I suppose the only difference is that we added head movement, oh and we didnt repeat the "steps" more than twice. We lifted our arms, tilted our head to the left, lifted our left, no wait right foot, stepped to the side while turning our head to the center...

GAH! My body parts just don't move in these opposing directions! For heaven sake, I dont even know my right from my left!

"Just remember girls," the prof said, "I'm the weird one, you guys are all normal." She continued, "Now, we're going to learn a turn. But I'll make it easy on you, we wont move our head...well, you'll want to spot, but we'll get to that eventually. Now it goes step, tap, step, tap, step, and you're gonna tap behind you, then allow the twist of your body to turn you. Just let your body unwind like this."

Sounds easy enough, step tap step tap, step...wait I cant get my leg behind me...untwist? Yeah right...ok, lets try this again...step tap step tap step...whoa! I nearly fell into the girl who was step tapping, twisting twirling next to me. "Sorry! I'm so dizzy!" I apologized. My face, I'm sure, was a lovely shade of rouge.

"It's ok," she replied, "This is just not right. I'm just not getting it, so dont feel bad. You know, like, whatever."

"It's easier if you BEND YOUR KNEEEEEEEeeeeeeeZZZZZ when you TAP!" the prof instructed in a sing songy voice.

Bend my knees...bend my knees, step tap step tap, bend my knees...step tap...oh crap, I forgot to turn.

"Good! Now, make sure you spot. Look at that wall, and when you're body unwinds, snap your head and look at the wall again! It will help you with the turn!" The prof instructed.

Yes, that's helpful advice...look at the wall? snap my head around? uh-huh. I sighed in resignation and then thought to myself, I can only look at my feet! If I dont look at my feet, I have NO idea what they are doing. Only one more week after this...only one...more...week!

And that was only Monday's class.

On Wednesday, we entered the gym to find out that our prof could only be there until 12:30pm because she had a meeting to attend. They wanted her to cancel the class, but lucky us, she didnt want to and struck a compromise with the university big wigs of 12:30. Well, a shorter class is better than nothing, I supposed. Then I discovered the harsh reality of what less time would really look like: learning a speed routine in under 30 mintues. Oh boy.

The first part of the combo wasnt too terribly awful: tilt head to the right, center, box step, pivot turn, hands up, hands down, three point turn to the right, jump clap, three point turn to the left, jump, clap...with the professor shouting "BEND YOUR KNEES! You can't jump if you DONT BEND YOUR KNEES FIRST!" I guess we're still stuck in ballet mode. Then she wanted us to step out with our right foot, point the toe, pivot the hip forward, and then back, lift the left foot to the knee, step down, and vine step to the left. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I was doing kinda sorta ok till the groin-twisting-hip-pivoting move. And, what on earth was that popping noise coming from my hip socket? ew!

I won't elaborate any further. It's safe to say, that for me, wednesday's class was a disaster, and imagination can fill in any gaps in the story. One more week of dance. One week off for thanksgiving. Two weeks away from my "choreography."