Chapter Two

I think that when you've been out of school for a certain amount of years, you shouldnt have to take a phys ed. course.

So here I was in an old retired basketball gymnasium with forty-four other 18-20 something young females listening to what my intro to dance course is going to entail. The first part of the semester we'll be learning modern dance. The second part: ballet. The third part: lyrical jazz, which happens to be the specialty of the prof who has her doctorate in this. Did you know you can get a doctorate in lyrical jazz dance? Neither did I. At this point, the prof started to look around and almost to herself said "I hope they're gonna keep this floor clean, we're going to be sitting and laying and rolling around on it for the modern dance part." Help me.

Then came the fun part, the prof detailed what was the appropriate attire for the course: a leotard and footless tights OR a sports bra, spandex biking shorts with footless tights under OR a camisole top with shelf bra, spandex biking shorts, footless tights. Oh double yay. I think I just entered hell. I wonder how many dancers have had a c-section and two more kids afterwards? Or how many of them nursed three kids...yeah a shelf bra...that's gonna be greaaaaaaaaat. Actually, they're just in too good of shape to have these issues, so the thought wouldnt occur to them, I'm sure. Thoughts of dropping and adding a different phys ed course entered my mind, but the reality is that this is the only one that fits my schedule and all the rest are full.

Now the prof continued with grading and expectations. We get graded on attendance. Good. that was a given. Graded on participation. Yes, I understand. Also a given. Graded on choreography. Wait...huh? What? What was that? Go back a second...choreography? You mean as in, we have to CHOREOGRAPH OUR OWN DANCE? One and a half minutes? We have to come up with a one and a half minute choreography for our FINAL? Friends can come and watch? You mean this isnt just going to be in front of the class, but in front of friends too??? What do you mean in past semesters this whole side of the stadium was filled? Kill me. Kill me now. Please.

Those of you hoping for a video...don't hold your breath.